Taxi! Taxi! Oh, hell.
You can never get one when you want one.
Taxi!
Let me do this. Looks like you got your hands full.
Thanks very much for your help but I think I'll walk.
- Got a problem, buddy? - Get out of the way.
Am I keeping you from something?
If you're in a hurry, all you got to do is say so.
People here in New York have manners. They don't lean on their horns.
Jesus! Who's your dentist? Tiffany's?
Excuse me. What are you doing to that boy?
Unnecessary use of the horn, Officer.
I'll be unnecessary use of my nightstick on your thick skull if you don't let him go.
Whatever happened to police courtesy and that kind of stuff?
We save that bullshit for the Upper East Side. I'll kick your white ass...
all up and down this street if you don't stop kung-fuing that man's throat. Move it!
Yes, sir, ma'am. Anything you say. You're just doing your duty.
I'm just a simple law-abiding citizen, Officer.
I said move it.
I don't like it, George. I don't like it at all. Have you seen these photos Stone took?
We've got one phony-bird colonel playing footsies...
with one little Miss Know-lt-All...
who's dodging tails with one faceless wonder...
who's so anonymous he doesn't have any record or fingerprints.
They're throwing some secret fraud-squad at us and we're fishing in the dark.
Obviously, but before I can shut them down I need to know who they are.
Shake some trees, see who falls out.
Shaken every tree I can find. Came up empty.
Of course.
You haven't played hard ball, like we did in Tennessee.
Let's give them a body. See who claims it.
Start with him.
Couldn't we skip this lesson and move on a bit?
Say, to lesson number 36?
Silence! The Emperor Smith is disgusted with your progress.
I've told you, he's not an Emperor.
Enough! You are using only a fraction...
of the power in your body and your brain.
Sinanju uses it all.
That is its sole secret...
its only strength.
You are here to conquer your childish fear of heights.
When you have done so, we shall meet below...
and start another exercise.
27, 28, 29, 30.
You got it, mister.
No problem.
- Falling off a log. - I'll take mine now, Frankie.
What are you guys, crazy?
- You got no right up here, mister. - Authorized personnel only.
- That's to prevent accidents. - Suicide, that kind of thing.
Look, I'm coming down, all right?
You sure are. The short way.
End of the line, pal.
He's coming your way!
I got him.
Come on, get him now!
I rather enjoyed that.
Yeah. Eight and a half gainer with a full twist.
Your people did a good job.
All right. Let's get out of here.
Okay, guys. It's Miller time.
I tried to grab him. He must have slipped.
Yeah, I saw that.
He's falling down.
- Terrible. - It's a tragedy.
What the hell is going on?
Bastard!
He's behind you!
Get him.
Wait, man. I didn't do nothing.
You can't come over here!
- Look out, buddy. - Who is he?
- No! - Don't go in there!
That's new cement!
Mac, I could tell you what George Grove had for lunch every day this month.
But I can't find out a goddamn thing about HARP.
How do you suppose he managed that little trick?
Good. I'm glad you're both here. 'Cause we're gonna straighten something out.
I just spent the morning being chased around the Statue of Liberty by goons.
What were you doing on the Statue of Liberty?
Chasing pigeons. It's not the point. They were trying to kill me.
Who?
A friend of the Tiffany tooth. That's who.
Will somebody tell me what the hell's going on?
- lf he's onto Remo, he's onto us. - Who's "he"?
Why don't we take him out before he gets any closer?
No.
I can't do that.
I need more to go on.
Those guys tried to kill me. You want more?
CURE is not at all interested in your personal problems.
CURE sucks, whatever CURE is.
Mr. Williams, what we can't do here...
is embarrass the President.
A man named Grove has discovered your existence.
But before CURE becomes visible...
we must all disappear without a trace.
How do you plan to do that?
Simple.
Harold W. Smith...
Assistant Research Manager, found dead in his office.
Massive coronary.
I keep this pill in my pocket.
Across town another man is found in the stockroom of a men's haberdashery...
his head blown off.
Where does that leave me?
It leaves you and your slant-eyed little buddy. Chiun.
He's got your number.
Should be fast and painless.
Boys, we're not there yet.
But we'd better have a look at HARP and come up with something pretty soon...
or we will have to vacate this office.
You and I are going to visit Mr. Grove's plant.
Allegheny, 10:00, Gate 23.
Don't be late.
There is something you wish to ask.
The answer is yes.
If the Emperor Smith so ordered it...
I would have to kill you.
It is in the contract.
Cliff wants you.
Chiun teach you that?
No.
Anti-personnel mine. Korea.
See you back at the fence.
What lesson number was dogs, Chiun?
Let's see you try to get up here, you sons of bitches.
You're not your average sons of bitches.
Try that, you mother.
- What happened? - Man, I blew it.
Don't worry about it. I think I got what we need here. Come on.
Grab that dozer over there.
Move it!
Jump!
Get this to Smith.
He won't be with us for much longer.
Has he talked yet?
Get Stone.
HARP...
the so-called cornerstone of defense for this nation, for the next decade.
What about it?
There is none. It doesn't exist.
But I saw the damn thing. It blew up in my face!
I know.
But what you saw was a fake, it was window-dressing, a pipe dream.
It doesn't exist.
And before you got close enough to figure it out...
Self-destruct.
Blew our only hard piece of evidence right out of court.
I'll bet this guy is filing for his fire-insurance claims right now.
I've got to take my hat off to this Mr. Grove.
He'll get his appropriations for HARP-2 and HARP-3, and in six months...
nobody will even ask him what happened to HARP-1.
And you think it's funny?
Mac gives his life to get you that stuff so you could nail the bastard...
and you tell me he's gonna get away with it, that we can't stop him?
You can stop him, son.
Just tell me where he is.
Mount Promise.
But it's got to look like one of Chiun's perfect accidents.
It'll be my pleasure.
Major. Nice to see you again.
I feel I owe you an apology.
I get hot under the collar when someone tells me how to run my business.
But you're just doing your job.
And pretty darn well, by the looks of it.
The important thing is that we're working for the same side, right?
Yes. And speaking of work, I still have a lot to do before this afternoon.
Carry on, Major.
Actually, General, there was one point I wanted to clear up with the Major.
What have you got there, George?
Just a small matter of national security.
Who are you working for?
Let me explain something to you, Mr. Grove.
A: I don't like being spied on.
B: You have no right to make accusations that you cannot prove.
And C: I don't know who these men are or who they work for.
So if you'll excuse me, General, I have things to attend to.
Hi.
Remember me?
Yes.
I remember you, all right.
You just set my career back about a decade. I'm supposed to be your accomplice.
Who the hell are you?
I could march you into that building and clear this up.
You could but you won't.
Who are you to give me orders? Army Intelligence?
You are Army Intelligence, aren't you?
It's the AR-60, isn't it?
No wonder I've been having so much trouble getting information.
We've been working on the same thing. I'm so sorry.
I don't know your name or your rank. Do I salute you?
You salute me.
Major Fleming. Hi, I'm Jim Wilson. Grove Industries.
General Watson asked me to contact you.
He tells me you have some concern about our AR-60s.
Damn right. It's about time somebody took this problem seriously.
That's what I'm here for, ma'am. I've got one set up down on C Range.
- I can run you down there if you like. - I'd appreciate that, Mr. Wilson. Let's go.
What are you waiting for, soldier? A presidential invitation?
The only thing our guys at Baton Rogue could figure out...
was that the retaining ring hadn't been bolted down correctly.
It doesn't click on like a bayonet joint.
If some dumb dogface doesn't follow specs...
and tries to force it, it'll malfunction.
Malfunction? When a piece of metal blows someone's head off...
that isn't malfunction, it's defective manufacture.
It means that your company allowed a design error to creep in.
Did you run the 310 test on them as well as the 480 sequence?
No. I think we're going to find blowback.
- Blowback? - Precisely.
If that retaining ring is misaligned, a bullet could conceivably jam in the barrel.
At 20 rounds a second on full automatic, the results naturally would be catastrophic.
Catastrophic is not the word.
I must tell you that the Army has long suspected Grove Industries of...
What the hell is going on?
Give it five minutes. Don't forget to unlock the safety catches.
It's got to look like a nice little accident.
That's for my friends at the Statue.
This one's for me.
So listen to this, George. Lymon four-puts.
Four-puts, mind you.
I thought he'd have a stroke. And I'd have claimed it if he had.
I'm afraid there's been a serious incident at the gas testing area.
Fatal, I'm afraid.
- That's terrible. - What happened?
One of your assistants, Mr. Grove.
The first thing I'm gonna do is file a 1611.
And if that doesn't work I'm gonna nail them with a 1098.
Who were those bastards, anyway?
That guy Wilson...
he's gonna wish he'd never been born after I finish with him.
What the hell did he think he was doing?
Thank you.
By the way...
I guess I should also thank you for getting me out of there.
I remember passing out, and then...
I think we'd better keep moving.
That's not the way, that's west. The camp is up there.
I know. That's why we're going this way. Come on.
I got to report this to General Watson. Those people tried to kill us.
- Major Fleming... - Rayner.
I hate to pull rank on you, but I want Grove Industries as bad as you.
Okay, let's do it my way. Neat and tidy.
All wrapped up in one package. How does that sound?
Sounds good to me, sir.
Gentlemen...
as of now this base is on Alpha-1 alert.
This is not an exercise. I repeat, this is not an exercise.
Military secrets have been stolen.
A man has been killed and Major Fleming reported as missing.
Our infrared heat sensors indicate two targets...
moving west toward the perimeter of the camp.
They must be intercepted and detained.
Sir, if there's resistance, do we return fire?
The security of the United States is at risk, Captain. What do you think?
Gentlemen, you have your orders.
Haven't eaten this good in weeks.
- How're you feeling? - Fine.
- You sure? - Sure.
I'm going to be down at the lake.
You are deaf!
I have been stomping around here for 10 minutes...
while you talk nonsense with this...
woman.
Pleasure to meet you, too.
Even worse...
you and the woman gorge yourself on sweets.
Excuse me, but I do have a name.
Women should stay home and make babies.
Preferably man-child.
I see you both went to the same charm school.
He always talks like that. He's Korean.
I see. And that explains why he lives in a forest.
No. Actually he's here for a special purpose. To kill me.
Not so.
I'm here to see that you do not bring shame to the House of Sinanju.
And if I do, then you kill me.
That I would do reluctantly, because you have been a good pupil...
- for a white man. - I see.
So that makes everything okay, doesn't it?
You are very skinny.
Why don't you try tightening the pinion nut first?
Because if I do that, I won't be able to line up the splines, dummy.
Sure don't make them like they used to.
I'll tell Lee lacocca you said that.
Damn, Harold. What did you do?
The brakes!
Jesus! Jump!
- You all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
You all right, Chiun?
Christ!
God! Chiun.
In Korea, door handles do not break.
Are you all right?
- Are you hurt? - No.
When you approach middle age...
there is a tendency towards bruising, my son.
What?
What did you call me?
I called you a clumsy oaf.
You drive like a monkey in heat!
Oh, my God!
- Are you all right? - And why should I not be?
What are we going to do now?
You're gonna stay with Chiun. He'll probably teach you to breathe.
- I have a job to finish. - Remo!
Do not embarrass us.
I won't...
Little Father.
This is ridiculous. Do you know what he's trying to do?
- They'll arrest him, court-martial him. - Silence.
They'll lock him up, and you just stand there like Nanook of the North!
Why don't you help him, for God's sake! I thought he was...
Lesson 22:
Blessed silence.
This is Pine Tree Command.
Good morning, gentlemen. Hope we're in for some good hunting today.
Prepare to copy your sector priorities.
That includes you and your little buddies, Liebowitz.
Go ahead, Pine Tree.
All stations to Situ-1.
Pull your fingers out of your ears and give a listen. We're live this morning.
- Pine Tree, this is Mistletoe. - Come on in, Mistletoe.
Bearing 120.
We have contact.
- Target's heading west. - Range?
- 3.6 and closing. - That's a Roger. Thank you, Mistletoe.
Pine Tree to all stations, go to Situ-2.
I say again, go to Situ-2. This is not an exercise. We are live.
This is Redwood.
We have triangulation.
Alpha-7-1-2-Zulu-0-0-Niner.
Target entering carpet area.
This is Bandit Chief. Go to Situ-3.
- Lock and load. - On your command, Bandit Chief.
Prime.
Red-4 live. Red-5 live.
Pine Tree Command. We show two in the green.
All sectors secure. Over to you, Bandit Chief.
Commence pattern.
This is Pine Tree Command. Good work, gentlemen.
Prepare to stand down sectors Redwood, Douglas, Cedar and Mistletoe.
Mop up commands search party to Red-4 and report.
Roger, Pine Tree, will comply.
They better take the Batjet.
You're not going to believe this, Pine Tree.
My sensor indicates human presence 50 meters above the ground.
This sucker must've grown wings.
This is Bandit Chief. I say again, this is Bandit Chief.
Stop chattering and give me radio silence and some map coordinates!
Yes, sir! Coming right up, sir!
You are proceeding in a northerly direction.
Not us, you jackass! The target!
Yes, sir!
Foxtrot-4-6-4-Zulu...
5- 0-5.
Heading toward the lake.
Stop!
All right, soldier. Nail that commie son of a bitch.
Get him.
That guy's going nowhere, sir.
Shit.
- Are you out of your mind, George? - It's your ass, too, Scott.
Damn. Get me more ammo.
He's getting away!
- I can see that. - What the hell are you waiting for?
Pine Tree Command. Come in, Bandit Chief. Over.
Stop right there.
I used to be interested in who you work for. Now I don't give a damn.
You're a dangerous liability, my friend.
You'll be dead in about 15 seconds.
The amusing thing is, I might get a medal for shooting you.
Who are you?
Remo Williams.
... also found in the wreckage of a tragic accident was George S. Grove...
chairman of Grove Industries...
multiple recipient of the Presidential Medal for Excellence...
and well known for his contributions to charity.
Also killed was Brigadier General Scott...
- Where's Chiun? - He went to look for you.
First squad, take the right flank. Wheeler, take the bogies left and around.
Be careful, they may be armed. And for crying out loud, watch the Major.
She's a woman and she's on our side.
There he is.
Careful, men. Hold your fire.
You must run very fast.
Who are you?
Would you believe we're the good guys?
Are you all right, Major?
Yes, I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
- Faster! - Sometimes you're a real pain in the ass.
That is because it is the shortest route to your brain!
- But we must hurry. - What's the rush?
We must return in time to see if Jim is truly going to walk.
- What did you say? - Or has the doctor merely told him so...
because he hoped to get a new wing for the hospital from his stepmother.
- Chiun, you're incredible. - No.
I am better than that.